The Holidays are Here! Hip-Hip-Hoorah! (Or maybe not . . .)
While the holidays are a wonderful time of year, getting along with everyone during this busy season can sometimes be challenging. I believe that’s partially because different people have different priorities. I also believe that if we understood each other better, we’d probably get along better. An easy way to better understand ourselves and others is by using the Five Elements model from Chinese medicine.
This ancient model describes five basic personality types and how they automatically relate to life and one another. We all have all five of these personalities in our energetic make-up, but we look at life – and react to it – through the lens of a specific one. Knowing our primary elemental personality explains our priorities and preferences in life. It also explains why we click with certain people but struggle with others. In this model, the Five Elements are Water, Wood, Fire, Earth, and Metal. And boy, do they impact how we act, react, and feel about holiday gatherings!
During the holidays, some people value quiet gatherings with people unique to them. Others think a massive party with loud music is the best way to celebrate. Some people even prefer time alone for important seasonal rituals. To help with this, I’d like to offer five quick, easy, and powerful tips to help us all get along better with ourselves and each other during this “festive” season. These tips are based on the material in my book, The Five Elements of Relationships: How to Get Along with Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace, but at times like these, they easily stand alone to help usher in a happy holiday season.
And because each of the Five Elemental Personalities will have unique ways they shine (and sink) during the holiday season, it will be essential to surround family, friends, and guests with an environment that helps everyone be their best. And it isn’t as complicated as it sounds. Just check out the five simple Quick Tips below.
Tip #1:
The desire to gather with close friends and family during the holidays sits in the Earth Element of the Five Elements model. People with a primary Earth Personality will LOVE the holidays and especially want everyone to be together and happy. Exceptional food makes Earth people happy – and also builds the Earth energy in each of us to help make connecting with others more accessible – so make sure there is yummy and comforting food available at your holiday gatherings. The good news is that everyone will appreciate excellent food regardless of their elemental personality.
Tip #2:
People with a primary Fire Personality love fun, laughter, dancing, games, and connecting with people, whether they know them or not. Music and any kind of game are exciting to Fire people – and will also build the Fire energy in each of us, which helps us have fun – so you might consider playing lively music and including some sort of game as part of the gathering. A simple game is the old “how many beans in the jar” challenge where guests can guess the number of dried beans in a glass jar (make sure you count them when putting them in – someone must be the winner). It’s surprising how something this simple will excite the Fire energy in each of us.
Tip #3:
People with a primary Wood Personality love organization and accomplishment. Success matters a lot to them, and succeeding at anything counts. Could you give the Wood people in your group (usually the over-achievers) a few easy tasks to do? They will love being helpful (significantly if you later recognize them for that help) and will be proud of their accomplishments, even if it was just setting a gorgeous table. And honestly, who doesn’t need extra help during a holiday gathering?
Tip #4:
People with a primary Mental Personality love processes, protocol, and doing things correctly. They also love being asked for their opinion. So if you know you’ve got a Metal person with you for a holiday event (they are usually the people with particular views who ALWAYS follow the rules), don’t hesitate to ask their thoughts on the “right” way to do something (but ONLY if you are prepared to take their suggestions. Failing to do so could earn you a scowl and haughtiness the rest of the evening). Their pride at being asked and later acknowledged for their wisdom will be well worth the effort.
Tip #5:
People with a primary Water Personality love creativity, deep philosophical discussions, and books. The easiest way to keep a Water person happy during a large gathering is to make sure you have invited a few other Water People to the event. Trust me; they will quickly find each other and sneak off to a quiet corner to discuss everything from the book they are currently reading to how many angels indeed might be able to dance on the head of a pin. Include them for food and toasts, but honor their likely desire not to be part of a large, boisterous group.
I hope these little tips help you enjoy fun, festive, and fabulous relationships during the holiday season! To determine your Elemental Personality, take a short quiz here: https://www.drvickimatthews.com/discover-your-elemental-personality.
Many Blessings,
Dr. Vicki Matthews (vmatthewsnd@comcast.net)
Published by – International Pain Foundation, iPain Blog, Team iPain
