What if we entertained a reality where… There was a ‘Lining’. . In just about everything.
I do not mean a ‘Silver Lining’, because it is known all too well the days can be, and often are, less than bright or shiny… I try to refrain from classifying things as either a ‘ black or white ‘ state of mind– good or bad- positive or negative; I believe things sort of blend together and I cannot explain nor do I know the reasonings as to w h y circumstances occur in the ways they do, I am only able to strive to make the best how I can with what I have and one of the things I’m in possession of no matter what: is My ability to view things through a “grey” perspective and simultaneously not allow that to take away from seeing the sun, so to speak. Or at least, still actively acknowledging the sun is real.
This can be and is perceived by some as:
” ominous or toxic optimism ”
But the truth is:
First, pain took everything I had… Then.. It taught Me all I know.
I speak from a very long time of chronic conditions being the center of My existence… Dictating My every move or lack thereof; literally, the process of enduring, somehow living, managing, cost jobs– relationships- opportunities.. It repeatedly crushed Me to the point eventually it felt as though I had absolutely nothing left, including a will to continue on at times:
there was no ‘sun’ or end-of-tunnel in sight to escape what could be described as torture and like so many others who can relate, I have certainly contemplated and had sincere moments I felt as though I wanted to and was ready to go.
In those instances where any sort of ‘ lining ‘ had been drawn far past My limits and there didn’t seem to be any way to shift perspective into a more helpful or solution based frame-of-mind– when I’ve just HAD IT and allow Myself to feel; embody the whole concept of what it means, has meant, continues to demand from Me to exist this way- when all else fails, I choose to internalize the Lining, more so as an invitation.
An invitation to what? Curiosity…
So much of My Life up to now had been spent in a state of desperation; despair, darkness– it *felt* like so much happened to Me and although it is true many of us have been victimized, in certain senses, whether it be by less than pleasant situations occurring or by the institutionalized systems in place– meant to alleviate harm and provide assistance yet often inflicting the opposite- I’d finally reached a point where I’ve taken responsibility + ownership over the quality of My own thoughts / perception / process and thereby the way I internalize, think, move throughout and show up in the world..
A common misconception ; is that this approach somehow belittles, disregards or eliminates anything… It doesn’t.. It certainly does not alter, change or fix everything either – it’s an adjustment in the way we’re internalizing what’s transpiring which therefore shifts how we perceive it and thereby experience it – what the case was, is all My effort and energy had been devoted to operating in survival mode and although that served Me for a while, it isn’t the state I can even attempt to thrive in so out of spite if nothing else: I choose to prioritize My own well-being and invest into the quality of Life no matter how painful it is.
We know that there’s a shortage of answers as well as help…
So, what would happen if WE began unapologetically prioritizing Self Care? A rebellious act in itself– in the moments when we least felt up to it, we still chose to do
( or don’t do ) one little thing that inched us closer toward a healthier, more conscious state of being. .
To what extent could our reality change, if we chose to reprogram the way we reflect upon our hardships? Considering them less of a nuisance and more so companions and deliverers of messages which once again, ultimately provide an invitation to listen, pay attention to and act on.
Stay curious! Thank you!!
Author: M.Mays
Published by: International Pain Foundation, iPain Blog, Team iPain
